Is An Ipad An Ideal Toy For Your Toddler?

I know one three year old who plays on his father’s iPhone all the time. He has found a game that he likes. His father is not too worried., But many parents are now questioning the use of these touch screen devices and wondering whether they should let their kids play with them.

The news is not all bad though. First, we are dealing with a completely different type of communication than television which is completely passive. The problem with TV was that the toddler had real difficulty in locating the moving images and concentrating on what was going on. Statistics show that he is liable to look away from the screen about 150 times in one hour.

In fact experts became alarmed and warned that no baby under the age of two should be watching TV at all and that younger kids time watching the box should be limited to two hours a day and no more. Then there are all the studies that showed that these kids who were addicted to video games had real problems in concentrating and staying focused afterwards.

Now the tablets, iPads and iPhones are different. One is that using the touch screen with the mere push of a finger pinpoints exactly the action or command. Contrast that with all the difficulties of coordinating using a mouse or playing a video game. It is that much simpler for a three year old. 

There are many games and apps that can be played by kids. I know many parents who maintain that their kids’ vocabulary has improved with the use of these apps, with sometimes as much as a 25% increase.

Now there is no research as yet to show that all the time spent in the iPad is as bad as watching TV for hours or slaving over a video game. We are in uncharted territory here and it will be five years before we can assess what this activity has done to our delicate kids’ developing brains. That is a little scary in a way when we realise that our kids are mere guinea pigs.

Look at the figures which show that we are dealing with a majority of kids here. For example, the
 There are real concerns that these devices will make our kids less sociable and that they will also become more sedentary. These go against the grain of raising happy and healthy kids who will turn into well balanced adults.

As usual, a little moderation will go a long way and there should be supervision and a wide range of activities to keep kids entertained. Once we make sure that is in place, then we can sleep more easily in our beds.

Teenagers With Behavioral Problems

Very often, teenage behavioral problems are the the tip of the iceberg and they are merely a manifestation of some frustration, concern or even a medical problem. Sometimes, there are episodes of bullying behind all this. Getting to find the cause is rather a difficult task

Let us take the teen who refuses point blank to go to school. He or she may fake an illness or some minor complaint. They prefer to spend the time lazing about at home or in front of the computer. In these cases, we can insist that this also means that they cannot go out with their friends at the weekend as they are simply not well enough. They will also have to complete some pretty boring homework as well.


But non attendance at school seems a very minor problem when we realize that a large number of adolescent girls have been involved in different types of violent fights at school or in the workplace. The numbers are alarming in that over 25% of the girls who were involved were not playing around as there was a deliberate attempt to inflict injury. These figures have been released by the SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration).

 The worry is that as parents and teachers, we have failed to teach them that violence is not the way to resolve problems of disagreement or conflict. It is also true that children who come from violent homes are much more likely to end up with teenage behavioral problems and end up as violent adults.

But what should we do when we are confronted with extreme behavior or that we know that our teenager is in bad company and treading a very fine line between legality and illegality. The question is a very difficult one in that there is inevitably a conflict where the adolescent seeks freedom and independence and the parent is putting on the brakes for very obvious reasons of health, safety and not getting on the wrong side of the law. We may need the help of a therapist in these cases.

As regards sibling violence, it is important to make sure that these are just not isolated incidents but if they are repeated over time then it is time to intervene before it gets out of control.There may nbe health and safety issues and damage of property to determiune what sort of intervention is required for teenagers with behavioral problems  like these.

As parents, we have to make sure that our levels of anger are under control.  In that way, we have a much better chance of separating violent children from each other and teaching them how to calm down. When things are calmer we should be able to discuss with them what the problems are and what are the ways of resolving them. Violence is just not acceptable.

Child Behaviour Advice And Solutions To Bullying

Lots of parents need and ask for child behaviour advice when they have to deal with important issues where their child’s safety and that of the home are involved.

They often ask about what is the best way to teach a child on the procedure for not letting strangers into the home. Or they may want to give advice on when their children are offered a lift from someone who may have been drinking. Or they may be worried about ADHD.

We see examples every day in the mall and we think that many modern parents either just do not believe in discipline at all and they just cannot be bothered. Their attitude is one of complete indifference even when things seem to get out of control.

They do not seem to want to know how to deal with kids’ materialistic attitude and also when they preferred the designer labels over the real values such as strength of character, honesty and a strong work ethic.

In seeking solutions to bullying, many parents are shocked to realize that as many of 85% of children are aware of what is going on and they will never intervene.  Bullying can take various forms such as taunting, name calling, cyber bullying and physical abuse. 

But it seems that a very high percentage of kids are  mere bystanders.  There are various techniques that we can teach our kids when this situation arises, two of which are:-

1.    they can befriend the victim and they can show this by moving closer to him or her or by showing some gesture of solidarity.
2.    they can try the technique of distracting the bully by suggesting an alternative activity so that the bullying is temporarily suspended.

The best child behaviour advice in this case is to encourage kids to intervene in one of the ways mentioned above and not to be mere bystanders. This is one of the best ways to start to approach to solutions to bullying.

Best Natural ADHD Supplement – Can This Really Help With Behavior?

As regards medication for ADHD with psychostimulants, there is now growing concern that they cannot really help very much with child behavior problems. The reason is very simple in that the meds can certainly calm a hyperactive child down but that is where it stops. It also may make a child less impulsive. But as regards helping with behavior?  They will not teach the child the coping skills he needs – period! 

The second problem associated with these meds is that the side effects may make a child so miserable that he cannot sleep, eat or even develop normally and these add to the behavior problems, rather than solving them!

This is where the best natural ADHD supplement comes in because studies show that children’s behavior can improve and there are no side effects. The most popular one is the Omega 3 fish oils because these are the essential fatty acids (EFAs) which are severely lacking in the Standard American Diet (SAD!). Also children with ADHD had an even lower count for the EFAs.  These were children who had behavior problems and were much more likely to have outbursts and sleep badly than the children who had higher levels.

But of course there will also have to be some ADHD behavior therapy as good old fish oils cannot really solve the behavior problems either.

But the great advantage though is that we are treating this condition naturally and we will never have to worry about any side effects.

Omega 3 or Krill Oil?                              

There is now a great debate as to whether we should be giving Omega 3 or krill oil supplements. The latter are said to be a much more powerful antioxidant but there are no convincing arguments which will put this at the top of the list.

The first argument that the supporters of krill oil use is that it is more sustainable for the fishing industry but these fish have to be caught anyway, whether we are using them to eat, or just extracting the oil from them.

The krill fish may be less contaminated but to make a sweeping statement to say that all krill oil is purer than the omega 3 fish such as tuna and salmon is really going too far.

The important point to bear in mind is to opt for Omega 3 capsules which use the hoki fish which is caught off the New Zealand coasts. Now this fish has very low levels of contamination so it really is one of the best choices out there.

As regards using Omega 3 oils as the best natural ADHD supplement, we are encouraged to note that many children do seem to benefit and their behavior is calmer and they are more reasonable.

University of Oxford studies led by Dr.Richardson found some evidence that the kids were better behaved after taking the EPA and DHA fish oils which are normally found in this supplement. There were also some results which showed improved academic performance.

 If Omega 3 is used as the best natural ADHD supplement, it can be integrated with other strategies to give ADHD kids a better chance of coping. We have mentioned ADHD behavior therapy and should include green time activities and an ADHD friendly home. In addition, if there is sufficient support both at home and at school then your child really does have a better chance of coping with ADHD successfully

British Kids In Consumerist Trap

Why do many British parents try to solve their kids behavior problems by buying them designer clothes toys and electronic gadgetry? The answer is that they  feel under enormous pressure from the advertising heaped on them daily through every medium and that they want to make up for the lost prime time with them by buying them these goods. They are the perfect bait for the advertisers and publicity campaigners who must be laughing all the way to the bank.

The UNICEF has cast a rather a cold eye on British parenting when they did a survey on the happiness of their children about three years ago.  The fact is that British children are not happy at all and they come in at the bottom of the league table when compared to kids in about 20 other industrialized countries.

One of the problems which is closely related to kids behavior problems is the fact that the British parents seem to be working longer hours than their European counterparts and that means spending less prime time with their kids. Secondly the household tasks and parenting duties are not shared so equally as say in Scandinavia.

The kids themselves were in no doubt as to what would make up their happiness and well being. They ranked prime time with their parents and friends in the number one slot while green time activities and plenty of activities to go with them were second on the list. The did not mention material consumer goods which is interesting.

In Spain, the use of the extended family in parenting duties seems to solve many of the kids behavior problems there and there is also less consumerist pressure there too, like in Scandinavia.

Sweden has taken an important step in limiting advertising on all TV programs which are suitable for under twelves. That is a constructive step they have taken in trying to solve kids behavior problems.

Can You Spot Your Child's Triggers?

If you are a parent and cannot fathom how come your child flies into a tirade of abuse, gets agressive or starts to become violent with you or his siblings, then it is time to take a step back and ask yourself this question. There must be something that is triggering child behavior problems. There must be a pattern. Far too often, parents do not go there because they cannot be bothered or they are too tired.  But actually it is welll worth the effort because with some time and persistence you will soon see results.

We can sum up the action plan into three parts :-

1. Observe
2. Talk about it afterwards
3. Plan an alternative strategy with your child or teen

1.In the first part we have to try and establish what triggered off the outburst or the aggression. This is just a matter of quietly observing and also asking help from relatives, siblings and teachers. Was there a particular incident just before it happened? Could it have been that?  Soon, we should see that a pattern emerges and we can start to understand that there is a problem reaction to something which really gets at the child. This could be a feeling of injustice at some wrong or slight or it could be something to do with school.

2. When we want to talk about it afterwards in a calmer moment, we can approach it and say ' I notice when you do not get your way, you start insulting me'.  This can start the whole process of communication about the problem and hopefully let the teen open up and talk about why he did that, how he felt,his reactions, his emotions and feelings, not forgetting his sense of injustice!

3. Then we discuss ways of reacting DIFFERENTLY. Suggest other methods which might be far more effective, less hurtful and less noisy too. Insults, aggression and violence are no nos and you have to give your child other alternatives. Tell him he can try a verbal response and think twice before throwing a book a someone,.

This is planning for the future so that the next time the incident happens, the child is much more aware of the triggers and might see it coming. He is also aware of some alternatives and with any luck he might try them.

Is A Military School Right For Your Teen?

Parents are often tempted by the idea that their acting out adolescent or defiant teenager could really benefit from a military school or a wilderness camp. The idea is attractive for many reasons :-

·          parents are removed from the battle scene

·          other experts can deal with the issues

·          teenagers sometimes respond better to natural consequences of their behaviour

·          behavioural therapy, if applied successfully, can and does work wonders.

Some research by the National Institute of Justice shows that cognitive behavioural therapy can actually teach behavior skills and redress the balance of faulty thinking, when applied correctly.  But the fact of the matter is that there is no independent research which shows how effective these programs are. That is really the crux of the matter. No doubt each school or camp will have its flagship success stories and these testimonials will be used in the publicity. But how many failures have there been? We will never know the truth on  that one !

Precautions to take:-

There are plenty of horror stories to keep us going for many a dinner party. The allegations of abuse, mistreatment, cruelty and downright mismanagement should make us think twice before we embark on any such adventure.

The first thing we should check out is to see that the college or camp is actually accredited to be such an institution. This is not a 100% guarantee at all but it does give you a comeback if anything does go wrong. You are protected by their charter. The two most respected accreditation institutions are the Joint Commission (JACHO) and the Council of Accreditation (COA).

Check the programs offered and see whether they are suitable for your child’s or teenager’s needs. Finding out their needs with the help of a counsellor is often salutary experience and on fact may be half the battle because that is when we realize what parenting mistakes we may have  been making all along.

Check out references too and find out as much as from parents who have gained benefits for their troubled teens through the use of such programs.

Ask for support  so that when your teen gets back, there is a transition period which you can confidently manage.  Without that, the whole experience may turn negative and you may find that you are back to square one.  If the school or camp cannot offer that, it probably means that they are not really capable of running a program with parents’ involvement. The fact that the home runs on completely different lines to a camp or college is something  which should never be forgotten.