How to teach your child to deal with anger.

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As adults, we have a pretty wide range of strategies for controlling our anger. That is what we like to think and we also compliment ourselves on our self-control. We can use strategies such as turning away, counting to ten, taking time out and of course talking about it and verbalizing the whole anger issue.

But sometimes, we too lose control and we all have had flashes of temper. Outbursts, shouting matches and even banging doors.

Our kids have very little experience of anger so the initial temper tantrum, outburst, and violent physical reaction are all ways which seems perfectly natural and instinctive to them.  But how do we help our kids to control their anger issues?

Younger kids are simply unable to verbalize their feelings or even talk about how they felt afterwards. But with older kids, there are many ways that we can raise the whole anger issue.

The secret to good parenting is to help the child to channel his or her anger and to be aware that violent reactions can only worsen the situation.  Channelling anger into harmless physical activities such as games and sports usually works quite well.

But first we need to be aware of the situations where the child is liable to get angry and to steer clear of these situations, if at all possible. The school setting will not be under our control which is why it is so important to give the child strategies that he or she can put into practice when the need arises.

Here are some things that make children angry and want to lash out:-

• frustration
• loneliness
• lack of friendship
• hunger
• tiredness
• pain or discomfort

With younger kids, parents can help them understand what is going on by telling stories and using these as an example.  Talking about anger afterwards and helping kids to manage their issues more safely and in a more socially acceptable way is also excellent.

 Using a story as a basis, talk about:-

• how they feel
• possible reactions
• alternative ways of dealing with the issue

Here is one great story which does this very well as kids can easily identify with the child in the situation.

ADHD Overdiagnosis and Overmedication- The Risks and Pitfalls

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The CDC’s report  (2011-2012 National Survey of Children’s Health) has raised some worrying aspects about the problem of overdiagnosis of ADHD and also as a consequence, overmedication. Over 76,000 parents were interviewed by phone.

The New York Times did not wait for the CDC to sum up its findings but went ahead and published all this data. The figure of 11% ( I in 5) of school children being diagnosed with ADHD represents a sharp rise over the last forty years or so.  These concerns have been raised before. Some famous examples are Hillary Clinton’s press conference in 2000. 

But are these gloomy predictions really true?  Perhaps ADHD really is increasing and there is a need for more and more medication. That is worrying.

It could be that there is growing awareness of the problem or as the New York Times states, there is far too much mislabelling of our children who may not have ADHD at all.  There are so many childhood conditions that mimic ADHD that this really should be taken into consideration more often.

The publication of the DSM V edition has broadened the areas of definition of ADHD which may mean that more and more children are going to fall into the net. There are fears that this redefining of the criteria and the extension of the age limits may actually lead to even more over diagnosis of ADHD.

There is also the question as to whether ADHD is being under reported in the case of inattentive children (especially girls) who tend to go unnoticed.

To sum up. The main concerns are:-

1.      There is far too much willingness to seek an ADHD diagnosis because parents and teachers want children to behave better

2.      They also want children to do better academically and they are not concerned about the ethics of giving medication as a study aid!

3.      Meds are shared among class mates and are taken by those students who are perfectly normal

4.      The health risks associated with such  misuse and abuse of the meds are considerable.

5.      Normal childhood behavior such as being fidgety and restless is part of childhood but is now being regarded as pathological. (This is the view of Dr. Jerome Groopman of the Harvard Medical School). He is the author of the book. ‘How Doctors Think’.

Finally, we should be wary of getting a fast diagnosis for our child who may have ADHD. There may simply be parenting issues. According to Dr. James Swanson, professor of psychiatry at Florida International University, the possibility that one in five high school kids has ADHD is grossly exaggerated. The real problem is with the misuse of the ADHD meds and he believes that these meds are given freely to schoolmates and he says that this could be as high as 30%.

Are ADHD Meds Really Effective In The Long Term?

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The debate rages on about whether the effects of Ritalin in the long-term are really going to help children with ADHD. The latest study (Dr. Gene-Jack Wang, of Brookhaven National Laboratory in Upton, N.Y published on PLOS ONE ) shows that the short term boosting of dopamine which is great for concentrating and focusing may well be compromised in the long term. This also means that the effectiveness of such treatment in the end may just not be that great.

The bottom line is that while the drug Ritalin may increase the dopamine transporter, it also means that patients will experience more severe attention deficiencies when they actually stop taking their meds. That forces the doctors to prescribe even greater doses of medicine. It is a vicious circle.

This is just one of the things that I have mentioned in my forthcoming book, Facts About ADHD Children which will be available FREE ON JUNE 1, 2 and 3

Most experts are now agreed that the best long term treatment is behavior therapy or just putting effective parenting skills into place. The road is a much longer one and requires constancy and patience. But the results in the long term far outweigh the frustrations and hard work.

The subtitle of  Facts About ADHD Children is Tips For ADHD Parenting and there are very practical suggestions about how to set up an ADHD friendly home which can really help your ADHD child to acquire the essential life skills he or she will need to manage ADHD.

There is no cure for ADHD. But there are many effective ways of managing this disorder or difference as I prefer to call it.

Benefits Of Yoga For ADHD Kids

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When I tried yoga a few years ago, I found that there were certainly a lot of benefits. It is a well known fact that with the advanced breathing techniques which are correctly applied, you can gain the following benefits:-

·        reduction in stress and anxiety and being less dependent on ADHD meds.

·        less tension

·        relaxed breathing means more oxygen in the brain

·        there is a definite feeling of calm and at the same time mental alertness.

·        forward bends help to deepen breathing

·        relaxation can boost the central nervous system

·        it is well known that the pose and routine of the Sun Salutation can stimulate both sides of the brain which will help with learning.

Now, when experiments with yoga for ADHD children have been tried, they have found that there are many benefits for them too and some relief from common ADHD symptoms. So much so that yoga courses are now offered in some elementary schools. That is a great way to begin a childhood, rather than giving them a new electronic gadget.

We should not be surprised that forward looking educationalists realize the value of yoga.  It is truly a unique combination of learning how to relax the body, stretching major muscle groups and learning to use breathing techniques for maximum benefit.

The ADHD child or adult does not have to be an expert although some practice will be needed to gain maximum results:-

1.      The child can learn to restore the body mind balance which is often out of sync in ADHD

2.      He or she can learn more about self awareness. These two factors alone will help the kids to really focus better.

3.      The brain transmitters are better balanced too and that leads to a better mood and feelings of happiness and contentment

4.      Children who do yoga are found to be less aggressive and violent because the body mind balance is starting to kick in.

5.      Children were also found to be less impulsive, again because of a better balance all round.

6.      Another great advantage was the fact that improved body alignment helped blood circulation which in turn had a knock on effect of higher energy levels.

7.      Even the simplest balancing routine can help ADHD kids to channel their thoughts constructively. Experts are now agreed that this routine can help the brain’s executive function which is often defective in those with ADHD.

As we have seen, there are definite advantages in considering some yoga practice which can tie in very nicely with a comprehensive type of program which may include some form of medication coupled with behavioral training.  It can complement help with learning and support for homework tasks. It should really be just regarded as another tool in the ADHD treatment plan.  

How To Deal With Temper Tantrums In Toddlers

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Ever wondered what your toddler is thinking as he or she has a temper tantrum in public?  Well, nothing much is going on in the brain except that there are emotions like frustration and anger. This is the only way she knows of trying to get what she wants!

Now contrast that with you. You are the one who is rational, reasonable, sensible and you have it all thought out!  You are going to give several reasons why this behavior is unacceptable and you may throw in a few threats and consequences as well. You are also keenly aware of how people in the vicinity might be judging you and that is going to also determine your behavior!

As we can see, these two approaches are worlds apart and they are light years away from resolving the problem. So, how can we approach this enormous gap in attitude, thinking, maturity and the way each of the protagonists sees the world.

Four tips to help with temper tantrums in public

1.      Long speeches and tiresome explanations are out!  First, the child has no way of taking all that in and even if he or she could, he has not got the mental capacity to respond to it.  I like the rule where you use as many words as the child’s age.  So for a two year old, it is ‘No hitting’ and a for a five year old is ‘We don’t throw toys around’.

2.      Allow your child to make choices beforehand. So, if there is a daily battle about what to wear at school you can do a bit of forward planning. Involve the child in getting the clothes ready the night before and ask him what he wants to wear. Saves time and hassle the morning after, provided he does not change his mind!  We are building a certain amount of autonomy in a pretty well structured environment and that is fine.

3.      Set limits. OK, it is great giving choices and allowing a certain amount of flexibility but this can go too far when the child wants and decides about everything. A good approach is to say what the procedure is for getting up or going to bed.  The photo shows that pretty well and is a great reminder of how parents should be dealing with this routine. 

 4.      Keep calm. There is no screaming match because this ruins everything. Take him away to his room and explain using the ‘age/number of words ratio’ what is acceptable and not acceptable. Remember never to give reasons or start on the ‘because’ list. It does not work. Rationality is not yet part of the child’s world.

So, there you have it. We can more confidently deal with temper tantrums before bed and in public by following these simple steps. Learn more about temper tantrums for no reason.

Watch the video on tips for child anger management

Stimulant Drug Dangers – The Tragic Story of Richard Fee

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Earlier this week, the New York Times featured a long article on Richard Fee who hanged himself after becoming addicted to Adderall and other psychostimulant drugs. It is no surprise that there were over a thousand comments on that article.

 Richard did not suffer from ADHD but was prescribed these meds because he was determined to get into medical school and he found that the stimulants helped him to study. Through clever lying and careless medical personnel, he was able to support his habit.

But he became addicted and displayed increasingly aggressive behavior, moodiness, psychosis, and became delusional.  In spite of his parents pleading with doctors not to prescribe him these meds, it was too late.  The final result was a tragic suicide.

When we talk of stimulant drug danger like the above heartbreaking case, we should not forget that when these drugs are properly prescribed after correct diagnosis, they can change the lives of many  ADHD children and adults for the better and help them cope.

But what happens when young college students take them without prescription?  These meds can be addictive for those who do not really need them. There are many health risks and psychological dangers which can ruin lives. These meds are easily available on college campuses and can be bought for between $5 and $10. There is no need to fake ADHD symptoms. 

                                DON'T DO DRUGS - MAY HAVE SIDE EFFECTS!

ADHD drug update

Guess which segment of the population is now taking these meds on an ever increasing basis?  They are young adults in the 20 – 39 age group and they had 14 million prescriptions filled for their ADHD in 2011.  That is an increase of 250% compared to four years ago!  We can explain this partially by saying that there is a growing awareness of ADHD and that people feel less inhibited about their condition.

But that whopping number also contains those students who are faking their symptoms to get an unfair advantage. Many of them are getting prescriptions by filling out questionnaires dishonestly and also with the connivance of obliging doctors. These are the ones who are taking the drugs legally. Those who are getting them on campuses illegally are committing a felony.  In either case, they seem to be completely unaware of the medical and psychological dangers.

Moral of the story? We should be alert to stimulant drug dangers. We should also look carefully at a more comprehensive treatment program and other alternative ADHD treatments. 

College Students Snorting ADHD Drugs

 

Is ADHD A Disease? – 5 Facts You Must Know.

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Is ADHD a disease, many people ask.  They want to know because they have not been able to get to the bottom of what this ADHD thing really is and they are ignorant about a lot of facts, partially fuelled by the media and the pharmaceutical lobbies.

1st Fact. Well, it is not a disease and you cannot catch it as it is not contagious! Seriously, though, it is just a mental disorder in which the brain transmitters are not firing properly. That, in reality means that signals are not getting through and the result is lack of focus when studying or driving, difficulty in concentration and a certain hyperactivity in many cases.

2nd Fact. Can you inherit ADHD?  Most experts now tell us that it is about 76% inheritable and that is a very high figure. That is why many parents discover that they have this condition when they get their kids tested,. The reason is that very many cases of ADHD are undiagnosed.  When we compare the 76% figure with other inheritable traits we find that depression is about 50% while  autism is about 90%.

3rd Fact. Medications for ADHD may help and they are very often effective. We just need to be aware of a few facts. One is that side effects may cause about 30% of children to give them up altogether and to look at alternative ways to treat ADHD.  Also, that the meds tend to be less and less effective over time so that should also be borne in mind. 

Abuse of meds by college students and others (they can study all night) has led to a dramatic increase in the number of admissions to the emergency rooms. Just think – these visits have doubled in a five year period (2005 -2010) and they are mostly students aged 18 and over.  While use of these meds is mostly safe for ADHD patients, their illegal use is anything but and is illegal and dangerous as these figures show.  These figures are from the SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration).

4th Fact.  There are alternative ways treat ADHD and these can cover anything from herbal medicine to homeopathy. The latter is highly regarded and extremely popular because there are no side effects at all and there are no health risks either.

5th Fact.  Most children with ADHD will respond to medication but it has to be accompanied by basic parenting skills, behavior therapy when necessary and also putting a structure and routine into place at home.

So, is ADHD a disease is a totally useless question. But many people are in total ignorance and one of the greatest challenges is to inform the public and educate them about what are the best ways of treating what is just a mental disorder.